Lost
by Rhett9
Summary: Losing the one you love can be a terrible pain and it is a pain that Logan Mitchell knows all to well. Slash Kogan and Jarlos Dedicated to Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak


I had just finished wiping down the bar when I heard a familiar voice.

"Give me the usual." The voice of Mr. Mitchell said as he took his regular seat at the bar. Logan Mitchell was well known around this bar. Logan was in his late forties. He had black hair with tints of grey in it that he wore in a faux hawk.

We were similar in height and eye color. But the thing that stood out the most about him was his awful temper. He was known to get into fights over the smallest things and he never lost. Logan was a loner and feared by everyone in Gustavo's Bar and Grill. When I first started working here a year ago, I didn't believe the rumors to be true.

I never thought someone could be as awful as him, but I was proven wrong that same night when he beat a man for sitting in his seat. From that day on I tried to stay on his good side.

"Here you go, Mr. Mitchell," I said handing him his drink. I took another glance at him like I do every time he comes in. You see, I have heard stories that he wasn't always like this. Apparently he was one of the nicest people you could ever meet.

He was an up-and-coming doctor who did all kinds of programs to help the less fortunate get medical care. It was hard to believe the drunk in front of me who looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks was once kind, and a doctor at that.

"Why do you do that?" Logan's voice said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Do what?" I squeaked. I was terrified of this man and didn't want to get my ass kicked by him.

"Everytime I come here, you stare at me for like five minutes," Logan stated as he took another sip of his beer. I could feel the blush coming onto my face at being caught staring.

"W-Well I…" I started, but I had no idea what to say without worrying about pissing him off.

"Let me guess - you have heard the stories?" Logan chuckled taking another long swig of his drink. I had never heard him laugh before. Needless to say, that added to my fear.

"Y-Yes," I said, my voice cracking as my mind thought back to what I had heard happened to the last bartender Jett for angering Logan.

"So that is why you almost jump out of your skin when I come in," Logan said, a smirk plastering his face as I nodded my head.

"Are the stories true?" I asked, not knowing where this new courage was coming from.

"You should know. You have seen my fights first-hand," Logan said in a duh tone.

"Not those stories. I meant the ones that say you weren't always like this," I said, shrinking back a bit in case my question provoked him.

"Yeah, those are true too," Logan sighed. His now cocky voice was full of sorrow.

"What happened then?" I asked. I know I sounded like a curious child, but this was a huge surprise to me. I didn't understand how someone could go from being a kind person to a complete douche.

"It's a long story," Logan said as he gestured for another beer.

"I have time. The bar is pretty empty tonight," I said as I got Logan another beer.

"Well then take a seat, Carlos," Logan said patting the vacant seat next to him.

"You know my name?" I asked taking my seat. I never thought Logan knew my name since he always referred to me as boy.

"Of course. I am a drunk - not a moron," Logan said, that cocky tone back in his voice for a moment.

"Before I start, I have something to ask you," Logan said staring me in the eyes.

I hesitated but eventually formed the words "Go ahead."

"Have you ever been in love?" Logan asked. I could hear the trace of sorrow in his voice as he asked me that.

"Yeah, I have an amazing boyfriend named James," I said smiling at the mention of my boyfriend of six years.

"That's nice," Logan said sounding genuine which caught me off guard.

"I was in love once too. His name was Kendall Knight." He sighed and chugged the rest of his beer down.

"What happened?" I asked feeling a bit sorry for him. I couldn't imagine the pain he must be in.

"I was young and stupid. Because of that, I let the best thing to ever happen to me slip away," Logan said, a few tears starting to form.

"You don't have to tell me," I said rubbing his back. Never in a million years would I have thought I would see Logan Mitchell cry.

"I want to," Logan said brushing my hand off.

"I have held it inside for twenty five years. It is about time I told someone," Logan answered.

**~Flashback Logan POV~**

_Kendall and I met our freshmen year of high school. For the first few months, we admired each other from a distance. One day we were paired together for a biology project. As the weeks went by, we got closer and closer to each other. The day before our project was due we had been working in the library getting the last bit of information we needed._

"_Logan, these past few weeks have been great," Kendall said looking up from his book on cells._

"_I agree. You are a fun guy," I said before mentally berating myself for flirting._

"_I am glad you feel that way because I have wanted to ask you something for a while now," Kendall said scooting closer to me. As he did, I could feel my heart racing. No one ever made me feel the way Kendall did._

"_W-What?" I said, my voice cracking. _

"_W-Will you be my boyfriend?" I had never heard Kendall sound so nervous. _

"_Yes!" I shouted once the full effect of his words hit me. Kendall Knight wanted to be my boyfriend. It was like a dream._

**~End Flashback~**

"We kept our relationship a secret for the most part with only our families knowing. We dated all through high school," Logan said. I had been so into his story that I had missed the tears rolling down his face until now.

"You guys sounded perfect for each other," I said handing one of the tissues from the tissue dispenser to Logan. "What happened?"

"Stupidity. That's what," Logan laughed darkly. His tone scared me a bit. He sounded so broken.

"You see, we were fresh out of college and my cousin Lucy pointed out that I didn't know a thing about relationships since Kendall was the only guy I had ever been with," Logan said, a hint of anger in his voice.

"I don't know why I did it, but I decided to prove my cousin wrong. I went to a party with Lucy, found a guy who was decent looking by the name of Dak Zevon, and I hooked up with him," Logan said, his voice growing cold again.

"So you cheated?" I asked.

"Yeah," Logan groaned.

"See, what I didn't realize was that Lucy had set me up," Logan said slamming his fist on the table.

"What do you mean?" I asked careful to not upset him.

"Apparently my dear cousin wanted Kendall. The day after the party, I was feeling guilty beyond belief for betraying Kendall the way I had. But I didn't have time to dwell on it before I got a call. It was Kendall. He told me Lucy showed him a picture of me and Dak making out on the sofa. The pain in his voice shattered my heart." Logan was shaking a bit now.

"You don't have to finish," I said trying to comfort him the best way possible.

"Actually I do. I owe Kendall that much," Logan said.

~**Flashback Logan~**

"_How could you do this to me!" Kendall yelled at me from the other end of the phone. He had never yelled at me the entire nine years we had been together._

"_Ken, I can explain," I said. I had to make things right._

"_Save it, Logan," Kendall snapped._

"_Ken, please," I begged. My tears came down like rain._

"_I need time," Kendall said. I could tell he was crying._

"_Kendall, no. Please let me explain." I was full on sobbing. I couldn't lose the only man I loved._

"_Logie, you really hurt me," Kendall whimpered on the other end of the line. His voice ripped me in two._

"_I know," I sniffled. _

"_I will call you in a week. I need time to clear my head. You can explain then," Kendall said before he hung up. _

**~End Flashback~**

"That night was the first time I ever stepped foot in this bar," Logan said wiping a few tears from his face.

"What did Kendall say the next time you spoke?" I asked. I figured he had not forgiven Logan and that is why Logan was now the man I saw before me.

"There never was a next time, Carlos," Logan cried.

"Why not?" I was so confused at this point. Why had Kendall not called him?

"Because two days later, Kendall was hit head on by a drunk driver and died on impact," Logan said as he crumpled into my arms. I felt awful.

"H-he died before I could apologize. Before I could tell him how much he meant to me," Logan sobbed into my shirt drenching it in his tears. I wanted to find this prick that did this to Logan and Kendall. No one deserves to have the love of their life taken from them.

"The day Kendall died is the day my heart died. He was the love of my life and I ruined everything," Logan said looking up at my face.

"Logan, Kendall's death was not your fault," I said trying to comfort him.

"Yes it was. He was on his way to see me," Logan sobbed as he buried his face back into my shirt.

"I found out from his sister Katie that he had missed me. We had never gone even a day without each other so it had been hell for us both," Logan said. That made my heart ache even more for him and Kendall.

"I wish there was something I could have done to help," I said truthfully. I had always viewed Logan as a pathetic violent drunk. But the truth was he was a broken man who lost the other half of his heart. It made me think about James. I would not be able to live without him.

"Thanks, but it was before your time Carlos," Logan answered.

"Do you love him?" Logan asked staring at me. It took me a second to realize who he meant.

"With all my heart," I answered truthfully. I regretted it when I saw the look of pain flash in Logan's eyes. But the look vanished almost as fast as it had arrived.

"Make sure he knows that every day. And hold onto him. Because once you lose your one true love, nothing can ever fill the hole," Logan said.

"I will," I stated. Logan nodded before dropping some money on the bar and getting up. He was at the door when he stopped.

"Carlos," Logan said turning around to look at me. I looked back at him.

"Thanks for listening," Logan said.

"You're welcome. And thank you for trusting me with your story. I just wish it could have ended differently for you both," I said as I stood from my seat.

"Me too," Logan whispered before he turned and walked out the door. After Logan left, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he and Kendall hadn't been torn away from each other. I was so deep in thought that I hadn't even noticed someone was at the bar until they spoke.

"Hey sexy," James said causing me to jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," James said laughing at me. I wanted to tell him to fuck off but I remembered what Logan had said.

"I love you James," I said as I kissed him.

"What was that for?" James asked eyeing me curiously.

"A friend just made me realize I should tell you that more often," I said smiling.

"I will need to thank this friend." James said winking at me.

"Thank you, Logan," I whispered.

**I do not own Big Time Rush**


End file.
